Do it Scared
In 2016, I had the bright idea to start a series. I didn’t know much about the format of television shows and the science behind it. I just knew that I wanted to create my own avenue in media because there weren’t many media jobs available in Detroit. I created a list of people I wanted to speak with, and since it was all women, I ran with it as the theme of my show. Usually, I have a sunny disposition on trying new things, and I went into it feeling the same way. Some of the people that I contacted didn’t see my vision beyond the initial email, and I had nothing more to show them. I was slightly discouraged that they didn’t want to participate, but it gave me the fuel that I needed to create something so amazing that they would want to be a guest at a later time. I knew that I wanted a three-camera setup and I knew that I wanted to have positive, meaningful conversations.
I spent approximately three months shooting the episodes in my free time between work and school. And after all of the anxiety I created around chasing a dream that I had, it came out well. It was something that I was pleased with. But I questioned why I was so scared.
Trying something new can be scary. We want for it to be perfect so badly that we sometimes forget that baby steps add up and want to take off running. For me, I wanted the best of equipment, a well-designed set, and to be the best interviewer. Because of my background in television productions, that was all that I knew. I never saw how someone’s first production was run. The personalities that were at the station that I worked at were amazing. They had minimal vocal fillers and had grace when extending their conversation during a segment. I had to get started on my dream. When something is on my heart, and I know its a part of my purpose, it does not leave me alone. It will show up in my dreams, I will daydream about it, or someone will unknowingly bring it up in conversation just as it was on my mind. I could not compare my starting point to another person’s years of experience. I could not compare my starting budget to a company who has been in business for decades. I just had to start.
When you know you have the capacity and capability to do something, why not try? At least you know when you try, if you fail or not, you won’t always wonder what could’ve happened. Also, that attempt can lead you closer to what you are meant to do. It’s fulfilling to start on what your heart desires, even while you are scared. Starting is the hardest part. Once you hurdle over fear and worry, the process of your journey will begin beautifully, and you will find ease in knowing you tried.