Books that Read Me: Game of Desire
One morning, I was at a friend’s house chatting about our dating lives over breakfast. As I was ranting about whoever I was interested in at that time, something that I said sparked her to tell me about a dating book that she started reading. I trust my friend’s taste in books so I was curious about it from the start. But as she began to tell me how I reminded her of one of the case studies in the book, I wanted to read more about the woman’s story. Within days, I purchased the book from Amazon to see if this woman was anything like me and if I could apply any of the dating tips to my life.
Shan Boodram’s combination of expertise as a sexologist and dating experiment made me aware of how I have spent my whole adult life dating all wrong. To provide context, during the time I began reading the book I was coming out of the recovery phase from a bad breakup and strongly desired to date. After several attempts to date– one with a guy who went through my phone behind my back and the other who ghosted me because I didn’t tell him that I missed him– I began to feel discouraged. What was I? Chopped liver? Was I unwelcoming? Am I undatable? What IN THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? As I cracked open this book, I began to read all of the ways that I needed to improve if I wanted to have a dating life that I didn’t regret before getting married and trading in my player ways.
As I began to read the book, I could not put it down. It became a part of my morning routine to read a few chapters before I left my house. Boodram does an amazing job introducing various methods to understanding who you are in the dating game. Things like learning your turn on triggers, love language, number on the Kinsey Scale, apology language and attachment style help you learn more about how you date and who you are as it relates to dating.
Boodram experiments with five women by having them go through five phases of dating that begin with them gaining a better understanding of themselves and ending with the women owning their power not only in dating but the newfound confidence that they possessed. With advice from celebs like Winnie Harlow, Matt Barnes, and others the book not only gives perspective from the author’s view but how others see dating as well. They cover subjects such s outward appearance, making yourself approachable, having the balls to approach who you want, online dating, and creating healthy boundaries. If you decide to purchase the book, you can visit the Game of Desire website to take the quizzes and do the worksheets.
Prior to reading this book, I was dating all wrong. I would wait to get chosen, spend my time with the person I liked the most, and wait for them to ask me to be in a relationship. I wasn’t looking at the overall experience with them. I didn’t allow myself to date